My lifelong dream has been to be a wife and mother. Even at a young age I was dreaming about raising kids, homeschooling, and running a house, and those desires have seemed to intensify within me each year.

What I didn’t think about in all my dreaming was how much responsibility comes with homemaking. As a little girl I looked at my mom and saw someone who got to cook dinner and teach us, and those things sounded fun! I didn’t think about how many other things are required of a homemaker – grocery shopping, meal planning, budgeting, cleaning… communication skills, being intentional about spending quality time with your family… plus any other responsibilities outside of the home that need to be done (for example, church activities; a job).

The amount of work required to be a wife, mother, and homemaker really struck me when I was 15. I realized that I wasn’t prepared for all these tasks. I had always assumed that when I became a wife and mother I would magically be prepared to accomplish all those tasks, but at 15 I realized that I wasn’t going to suddenly know how to do laundry and be a good communicator when I got married. I realized that if I wanted to be a good homemaker in the future, I needed to begin cultivating those skills now.

Over the past few years I’ve been working on learning some of the necessary skills for homemaking, motherhood, and marriage.  I still have a lot to learn (my mom can confirm that!), but here is a summary of the things that I’m working on to prepare for the future:

1: Be responsible. This was the first lesson I realized that I needed to learn. I’ve always struggled with being a procrastinator, especially when it comes to chores. One of the first things I began to work on was doing my chores consistently. I’m still not the best at this, but over the past few years I have improved.

Another part of being responsible is keeping your commitments. If I say that I’ll do something, I need to do it. I volunteer for several things in my church, so I have to stay on top of all that I’ve committed to do. One of the hardest parts of being responsible with your commitments is making sure that you don’t over-commit. I hate saying no, but if I take on too many projects, I won’t be able to complete them all well. So, part of being responsible is knowing how many commitments you can reasonably take on, and not over-doing it. (Please note that sometimes God will ask us to do some things that seem like more than we can handle, and that’s okay. God promises to give us strength for those times. 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, “And He has said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.’ Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.” Pray about what commitments God wants you to take on, and then do what God has called you to do. Don’t worry about the things He hasn’t asked of you, because it will only drain you, and it might keep someone else from fulfilling a task that God wanted them to do instead of you.)

2: Know how to follow a schedule. This point goes along with the last one. Being able to keep up with our responsibilities means we need a good schedule so that we don’t waste time on extra activities when we need to be using that time for necessary activities. Schedules can be a struggle for me, because I tend to be extreme – I either want a rigid schedule, or no schedule.

A schedule is kind of like your bones – they need calcium to hold you up, but collagen to remain flexible so that your bones don’t break when you jump or fall. Your schedule needs to have structure for strength but also flexibility so that you don’t break when you need to change your routine.

When creating your schedule, pray first. Surrender your plans to God, and ask Him for wisdom as you decide what schedule is best for you. Here are some verses that I like to read when I’m working on my schedule:

Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, and He will do it.  Psalm 37:5

Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil.  Ephesians 5:15-16

For my schedule, I have my daily school schedule – my structure. Then each week I make a to-do list of responsibilities I need to accomplish, and then I check of the boxes as I go throughout the week. This is my flexibility, because I can choose what day I want to accomplish which task, so long as I finish the list by the end of the week. I also make sure to prioritize time with my family.

3: Work with your hands in delight.

She looks for wool and flax And works with her hands in delight. Proverbs 31:13

To be a good homemaker, you need to learn how to do your tasks with joy. This can be tough, because we all have chores or other responsibilities that we don’t like. The key to working with your hands in delight is not to do only the work that you like, because that’s not possible. Finding joy in every task is doing every task for God’s glory and focusing on Him through it all.

Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31

4: Learn to be a good communicator. In order to prepare for having a family, you have to know how to communicate well with people. Bad or no communication creates stress and doesn’t build relationships. Learning how to be a good communicator means learning to express your feelings calmly, learning to have edifying conversations, and learning to listen well.

This you know, my beloved brethren. But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger;  James 1:19 

These are important skills to learn, even if you never get married, because, really, they’re just life-skills.  They are important for when you’re still living with your parents, in college, at the workplace, and/or when you have a family.  It takes hard work to learn these skills, but they will be worth it!

I’m going for it!  Are you?

With love,

Kelsey