Gossip. Talking bad about someone behind their back. It’s something we all know is wrong but tend to think isn’t horribly bad.  Plus, it’s so addicting!

Gossip. What could it hurt?

A few months ago, I was studying Romans 1. The end of the chapter lists a bunch of sins of people who deny God, and in that list was gossip. I was shocked. Gossip listed among all those other horrible sins? Really? It seems so small comparatively. But is it really that small in God’s eyes? I decided to study into it and see what the Bible says about gossip.

First, I noticed that the word gossip appears 7 times in the NASB translation, and three of those verses are addressed specifically to women. It makes sense. Most of us girls like to talk, and we like to talk about people. We like to know all the juicy details of everything. So, naturally, ladies seem to struggle with the sin of gossip more than men.

Gossip is everywhere these days – there are magazines devoted entirely to gossip, and it’s all over the TV and the internet. Gossip is pretty normal in our culture. Because it’s so prevalent, it’s easy to brush gossip off as small or unimportant, but in studying this topic more in-depth I’ve come to realize the full weight gossip actually carries.

And just as they did not see fit to acknowledge God any longer, God gave them over to a depraved mind, to do those things which are not proper, being filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, evil; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice; they are gossips, slanderers, haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, without understanding, untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful; and although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but also give hearty approval to those who practice them. Romans 1:28-32

The Greek word for gossip in this passage is psithyristēs, and it means a whisperer, secret slanderer, or detractor (all Greek words and definitions were found at blueletterbible.org). This is your typical thought of what gossip means – someone talking bad about someone else behind their back. A whispering slanderer. And according to this passage in Romans, gossip isn’t a small sin. In fact, no sin is small in God’s eyes. Any sin, no matter how big or small, separates us from God.

Women must likewise be dignified, not malicious gossips, but temperate, faithful in all things. 1 Timothy 3:11

Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored. Titus 2:3-5

The Greek word for gossip used in these two passages surprised me. It’s diabolos, which means: A) prone to slander, slanderous, accusing falsely. B) a calumniator, false accuser, slanderer. C) Metaphorically, applied to a man who, by opposing the cause of God, may be said to act the part of the devil or to side with him.

This is the same Greek word used throughout the New Testament to describe the devil – the father of lies! This surprised me, but as I thought about it, it makes sense. Satan is a slanderous whisperer, lying to us about who we are, who God is, and who others are. He wants us to mimic his evil actions. Gossip is just another form of deception or lying, so when we gossip we are mimicking the father of lies. This is opposite of God’s will and nature. God the God of Truth (see Isaiah 65:16), and he wants us to be speaking truth. God hates lying (see Proverbs 6:16-19), and if gossip is a form of lying, then God hates gossip. If God hates gossip, then we should too.

Are we siding with the father of lies when we choose to gossip? This is a serious question that we must consider!

This study really opened my eyes to the gravity of gossip. But with gossip being so normal these days, how do we avoid it? Here are some tips I’ve found helpful:

1: Choose pure thoughts.

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. Philippians 4:8

We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ, 2 Corinthians 10:5

Gossip first stems in our thought life, so if we want to defeat it we must take care of the roots of the problem. We must guard our minds by looking at our thoughts and deciding if they are godly – are the true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, of good repute, excellent, or worthy of praise? If they aren’t, choose to redirect your thoughts to things that are godly, and kick out the bad thoughts. It’s hard, but we must learn how to take our thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ – we must ask ourselves, “is this a thought Christ approves of?”

2: Don’t gossip. Easier said than done, right? But whenever you’re tempted to gossip about someone, stop, pray for God’s strength, and choose to talk about something else that will honor the Lord.

3: Don’t associate with a gossip.

He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, Therefore do not associate with a gossip. Proverbs 20:19

Again, this is easier said than done. I’m sure all of us know a gossip, and probably more than one. We know that bad company corrupts good morals, but we also know that as Christians we should be pointing others to Christ, and we can’t do that if we are avoiding people. So how do we handle this issue?

If you know someone who’s prone to gossip, there are several ways to handle the situation. First, try changing the subject when someone starts to gossip. If they don’t want you to change the subject and keep returning to gossip, choose to politely walk away. Second, if the person is a close friend or relative, quietly pull them aside and explain to them that you take gossip seriously and would appreciate them not gossiping around you. This is a hard-to-navigate conversation, so if you feel it needs to be had, pray about it a lot and then talk to the person with a humble attitude, not a prideful one. Finally, if you realize that a friendship is just pulling you into gossip constantly and there has been no change after attempting the first two alternatives, then seriously consider limiting your time with that person. You can still be kind and polite without being best friends with someone who’s pulling you into sin.

4: know the difference between gossip and seeking godly counsel. There are times when the actions or words of others need to be addressed, either because there’s a situation you don’t know how to handle, or because the words or actions of another are hurting others. It is not gossip to seek counsel from a trusted godly friend or mentor who can help you deal with a problem in a biblical way. It is gossip if you are blasting the problem to everyone you know for the purpose of smearing someone’s name while making yourself look good. If there is a situation that you need godly counsel for, first seek the Lord in prayer, then humbly talk to your trusted godly friend or mentor who can help you deal with the problem in a God-honoring way.

My prayer is that we would be women who honor God with every word we speak.

Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father. Colossians 3:17

With love,

Kelsey