Thanksgiving Lessons from The Path of Loneliness
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I love celebrations, and I especially love this day that is dedicated to giving thanks to God for all His blessings. Normally I look forward to Thanksgiving all year long. Normally.
This year has been hard. There have been many hills and valleys. And as my favorite holiday approaches, the hardships of this year seem to resurface regularly, reminding me that where I am today is not what I had envisioned at the start of this year. My heart aches with the loss of a dream. But more than that, I find that holidays this year have brought up loneliness in my heart. And if you’re struggling to be thankful this year, if you’re feeling the sting of a lonely heart, then this message is for you.
This year, I read The Path of Loneliness by Elisabeth Elliot, and it was just what my broken heart needed. Elisabeth Elliot knew loneliness well; she lost her first husband as a martyr and her second husband to cancer, both after very short marriages. Reading her words was so refreshing; I found comfort in the words of a woman who knew just how I felt. And I’d like to share seven lessons I’ve learned from this book and the reminder these lessons are that I can still be thankful, even in loneliness.
1: God has a purpose in loneliness.
“But safety, as the Cross shows, does not exclude suffering…. as I began to learn about suffering I learned that trust in those strong arms means that even our suffering is under control. We are not doomed to meaninglessness. A loving Purpose is behind it all, a great tenderness even in the fierceness.” (p. 20)
God is sovereign over all of life, even the hard seasons of life.
And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28 (NASB95)
Just as God took what Joseph’s brothers meant for evil and used it to bring about the salvation of many people from famine (see Gen. 50:20), God can take these seasons of loneliness and use them for our good and His glory. I’ve seen glimpses of what God is doing in my life through this season; I may not understand all the whys, but I’ve seen that He is still good. And God’s sovereignty is a reason to be thankful in the loneliness.
2: The here and now is where God works.
“We may be earnestly desiring to be obedient and holy. But we may be missing the fact that it is here, where we happen to be at this moment and not in another place or another time, that we may learn to love Him—here where it seems He is not at work, where His will seems obscure or frightening, where He is not doing what we expected Him to do, where He is most absent. Here and nowhere else is the appointed place. if faith does not go to work here, it will not go to work at all.” (Elliot, 27)
It is tempting to be stuck longing for the past or pining for the future, but that is not where God has placed us. Our eternal God is always at work in the present.
“Do not call to mind the former things, Or ponder things of the past. “Behold, I will do something new, Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, Rivers in the desert. Isaiah 43:18-19
We are supposed to regularly recall the good things God has done in the past (Ex. 13:3; Deut. 8:2, 32:7; 1 Chron. 16:12; Ps. 77:11, 143:5; Eccl. 12:1; Matt. 16:9). But we are not to live in the past, constantly wishing to go back and neglecting to live for God today.
For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:11-13
God, in His sovereignty, has a plan for our lives, and His plan is for our good and His glory. We have hope for the future because our future is in His hands, and ultimately in the future we know that all who call on the name of the Lord Jesus will spend eternity with Him. We should be hopeful for the future, but we shouldn’t waste today pining after tomorrow. Notice the action we’re called to in Jeremiah 29—we’re called to seek the Lord. That is a present action. We are called to live in the here and now, because that is where God is moving in our lives, even when we can’t see it. I can be thankful in my loneliness because I know it is through my loneliness that God is working.
3: God gives joy to those who mourn.
“The Way of the Cross for George Matheson was heartbreak. God’s power could have spared him that, but God’s love chose instead to give him something far more precious than the happiness he had lost—the Oil of Joy. God gives that oil to those who need it, to those who mourn. Its price, in other words, is mourning. If he had not entered the lonely wilderness, George Matheson would not have found His sweet treasure. Would you say the price of that was too high? Your answer depends on where you set your sights—on the short range or the long one. Think what Matheson would have missed. Think what the world would have missed had he been given the form of happiness he hoped for. Denied that, he looked for something better. God never denies us our heart’s desire except to give us something better.” (Elliot, 31-32)
This quote greatly impacted me; the Oil of Joy came after this man experienced mourning. This Oil of Joy comes from a prophecy about Christ in Isaiah (NASB uses the word gladness instead of joy):
The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, Because the Lord has anointed me To bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, To proclaim liberty to captives And freedom to prisoners; To proclaim the favorable year of the Lord And the day of vengeance of our God; To comfort all who mourn, To grant those who mourn in Zion, Giving them a garland instead of ashes, The oil of gladness instead of mourning, The mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting. So they will be called oaks of righteousness, The planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified. Isaiah 61:1-3
I’ve heard this passage described as Christ’s job description, and I love that. As I read this passage over again, it struck me that Christ came for the afflicted, for the brokenhearted, and for the mourners. What a love our Savior has for us! He sympathizes with us in our weaknesses (see Heb. 4:15), and He brings comfort to us. He doesn’t just tell us to pull ourselves together; remember, Jesus wept with Mary and Martha even though He knew Lazarus would be raised from the dead (John 11:35).
He who goes to and fro weeping, carrying his bag of seed, Shall indeed come again with a shout of joy, bringing his sheaves with him. Psalm 126:6
One day our harvest will come. One day we’ll realize our mourning has been replaced with joy—the joy of our Savior’s presence, both in this life and the one to come. I can be thankful in my loneliness, because Jesus is my comforter and my joy.
4: Loneliness is suffering, but God allows it because He loves us.
“Perhaps we hardly think of [loneliness] calling for courage, because we hardly think of it as real suffering, yet it fits the simplest definition I know: having what you don’t want, or wanting what you don’t have. Loneliness we don’t want. It comes from wanting what we don’t have. Who can compare sufferings? They are unique as each sufferer is unique. ‘The heart knows its own bitterness’ (Prov. 14:10 NEB). We respond according to our temperaments…. But all of us may be tempted sometime to conclude that because God doesn’t fix it He doesn’t love us. There are many things that God does not fix precisely because He loves us. Instead of extracting us from the problem, He calls us. In our sorrow or loneliness or pain He calls—’This is a necessary part of the journey. Even if it is the roughest part, it is only a part, and it will not last the whole long way. Remember where I am leading you. Remember what you will find at the end—a home and a haven and a heaven.’” (Elliot, 107)
I tend to think of physical pain as suffering, whether that be health problems or experiencing persecution. But emotional pain is also suffering, even if it seems trivial. I appreciated Elisabeth Elliot expressing that loneliness is a form of suffering. Suffering is an expected course for the Christian, but God uses it to grow us because He loves us.
Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:2-4
A loving parent allows his or her children to go through the struggle of learning to do something by themselves, knowing full well that doing it for the child would be so much easier and faster, because without the struggle the child will not become an independent adult. It’s because of love and a desire for our children’s well-being that we allow them to struggle through learning how to tie shoes, how to ride a bike, how to deal with conflict, etc. And it’s the same way with God. This “necessary part of the journey” is growing us into the image of Christ and making us more mature Christians. I can thank God in the loneliness because I know He loves me and is making me more like Jesus.
5: Accept the field of loneliness and find the treasure within.
“Our loneliness cannot always be fixed, but it can always be accepted as the very will of God for now, and that turns it into something beautiful. Perhaps it is like the field wherein lies the valuable treasure. We must buy the field. It is no sun-drenched meadow embroidered with wildflowers. It is a bleak and empty place, but once we know it contains a jewel the whole picture changes. The empty scrap of forgotten land suddenly teems with possibilities. Here is something we can not only accept, but something worth selling everything to buy…. I do not mean we are to go out looking for chances to be as lonely as possible. I am talking about acceptance of the inevitable. And when, through a willed act we receive this thing we did not want, then Loneliness, the name of the field nobody wants, is transformed into a place of hidden treasure.” (Elliot, 109)
This was the most powerful chapter of the book for me. This idea of buying the field has stuck with me. Embracing my loneliness because I know God has a treasure in it for me is so counter-cultural, but it is so, so true. Like we said before, our loving God is using this season to grow us in maturity. I can thank God in the loneliness because there is a treasure in this season.
6: Loneliness points us to God.
“Loneliness is a wilderness, but through receiving it as a gift, accepting it from the hand of God, and offering it back to Him with thanksgiving, it may become a pathway to holiness, to glory, and to God Himself.” (Elliot, 153)
“Many times in my life God has asked me to wait when I wanted to move forward. He has kept me in the dark when I asked for light. To my pleas for guidance His answer has often been Sit still, My daughter…. There is a secret place where the Christian dwells. It is the shadow of the Almighty.” (Elliot, 163)
This is the greatest treasure loneliness offers—drawing closer to our Lord. The second quote stood out to me extra today; I’ve felt the Lord clearly telling me to be patient and wait in this season of my life, and it’s caused me some anxiety. I like to get things done, but the Lord has said to wait, because it is here that He is working. So, I’m waiting, and I’m learning that the waiting is making me more reliant on God. Trusting that He knows best. Resting in His arms.
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High Will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, My God, in whom I trust!” Psalm 91:1-2
7: The answer to loneliness is love.
“Her Valley of Baca (weeping) was made a place of springs for me and for thousands of Colombians. For me she stood as irrefutable proof that the answer to our loneliness is love—not our finding someone to love us, but our surrendering to the God who has always loved us with an everlasting love. Loving Him is then expressed in a happy and full-hearted pouring out of ourselves in love to others.” (Elliot 192)
Loneliness is a reminder that no one can know the depths of our souls except our Lord. No matter how many friends, how close the friends, or having a romantic relationship, no one can truly know my heart. But Jesus does. His love is the answer to loneliness. And when I am filled by His love, I can spread that love to others. Seasons of loneliness will come and go, but my Savior’s love is my constant. What joy and peace to know He is always with me and always loving me. I can be thankful in loneliness because I have my Savior’s love.
I hope you found these quotes encouraging to you. I hope that, whatever trials you’re facing today, you will still be able to give thanks and praise the Lord. May you find shelter in the shadow of the Almighty. Happy Thanksgiving!
With love,
Kelsey
Work Cited: Elliot, Elisabeth (1998). The Path of Loneliness: Finding your Way through the Wilderness to God. Revell: Grand Rapids, MI.
