Have you ever played the game where you always lose – the comparison game? It’s a horrible game, yet so irresistible. You probably know what I’m talking about, but in case you don’t, I’ll explain it. It’s the game where you compare yourself to everyone else. Somehow there is no way to win this game. It goes like this:

“She’s so amazing,” you think, feeling defeated and depressed. “I wish I was as talented and beautiful as her. Well, at least I’m better than that other girl… mostly.” No matter how much you try to justify your “awesomeness” next to another’s, you always come out losing. You always feel defeated. So, if this game makes us feel so bad, why do we play it?

I think the key words for this game are jealousy, envy, and discontentment.

To be honest, I fall into this trap a lot. I think the root of this problem is insecurity. We all want to know that we’re good enough, valuable, and important. I tend to feel like I’m a little invisible while everyone else is spotlighted by their amazing talents.

I went through a season where I couldn’t enjoy the talents of others (specifically, special music at church) because all I could think was, “are they better than me?” I know, it’s silly and rather prideful, but that’s truly what I thought. God really convicted me on this point. My insecurities were stemming from my pride and my desire to be in the spotlight and to be noticed. This is opposite of God’s call for me. God is asking me to put the spotlight on Him and point others to Him, not myself.

But the comparison game had become a habit for me – a very bad habit. I wasn’t sure how to overcome it, but God knew the antidote for the comparison game, and it wasn’t exactly what I thought it would be.

Here’s the secret: gratefulness.

Gratefulness, really? I know, it’s crazy. But it works! God challenged me to be grateful for the talents He gave me and to not compare them to anyone else’s. God gave me specific talents for a reason, and He gave you specific talents for a reason. Yes, often times we meet others with similar talents, but we all have different combinations, and each of us brings our own uniqueness to the talents we’ve been given. God has a different purpose for my talents than for yours, and that’s what makes these gifts so beautiful!

I cannot compare myself to another if I’m thanking God for what He’s given me. If my heart is focused on gratitude, it changes the way I use my talents and enables me to appreciate other people’s talents too.

I am not perfect at being grateful, trust me! I still struggle with comparing myself to others, but by God’s grace I have improved.

Below are some insecurities that I’ve faced, and some verses that are encouraging to me in each area. I hope they encourage you too!

1: I’m not as talented as others. This is a pretty common thought. It’s easy to think that God wants to use talented people more than normal people, but that’s not true. God wants to use everyone, and our weaknesses shine His glory even greater than our talents!

And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

I love this passage because it reminds me that God can use me not only in areas that I think I’m “good at,” but also in areas that I’m not gifted in.

2: Being grateful for my talents is the same as being prideful. I used to think that to be humble I was supposed to brush off compliments and say that I wasn’t really that good at said activity. Here’s the big truth that was hard for me to grasp: it’s okay to accept someone’s compliment! Brushing off people’s compliments and putting ourselves down is the opposite of what we should be doing. You know what we should do? Praise God for the gift He’s given us! He deserves all the glory, honor, and praise! If God has given you a blessing, then glorify Him through it with all your might, and bless others with the blessing that God has given you!

Not to us, O Lord, not to us, But to Your name give glory Because of Your lovingkindness, because of Your truth. Psalm 115:1

Bless the Lord, O my soul, And all that is within me, bless His holy name.  Bless the Lord, O my soul, And forget none of His benefits;  Who pardons all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases;  Who redeems your life from the pit, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion;  Who satisfies your years with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle. Psalm 103:1-5

Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit.  And there are varieties of ministries, and the same Lord.  There are varieties of effects, but the same God who works all things in all persons.  But to each one is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. 1 Corinthians 12:4-7

3: It’s hard to not compare myself to others! That’s super true! But I have good news: there is someone you can compare yourself to (and should compare yourself to!), and that is Jesus Christ.

The one who says he abides in Him ought himself to walk in the same manner as He walked. 1 John 2:6

But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit. 2 Corinthians 3:18

Our life’s goal and prayer should be to become more and more like Jesus every day, and that is what God desires for us too.

My prayer is that I will learn to quit playing the comparison game, and start playing the gratefulness game. God is worthy of my thanks and praise, and I want to give it to Him! Will you join me?

With love,

Kelsey